We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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