these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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