saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize