I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
