So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
