I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
