Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize