so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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