My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
