The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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