at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
