Can i not drive my cunt home
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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