By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
