yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
