He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We need to get me chipped asap
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
