i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
