Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
