$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize