nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize