I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
