His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?