who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.