Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight

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  (718): 3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight http://tfl.nu/iyeq
  Replies (3) Good night (1494) Bad night (2355)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

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  (828): God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you. http://tfl.nu/4g7v
  Replies (25) Good night (3579) Bad night (998)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (602) Bad night (3414)
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  (650): View more from California

  on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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  (650): on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/s17l
  Replies (11) Good night (5698) Bad night (1103)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.

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  (440): i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad. http://tfl.nu/60es
  Replies (16) Good night (1625) Bad night (5709)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.

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  (828): At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed. http://tfl.nu/va1q
  Replies (16) Good night (1424) Bad night (4465)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea

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  (505): I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea http://tfl.nu/734q
  Replies (7) Good night (2136) Bad night (950)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.

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  (770): You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month. http://tfl.nu/j1wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1517) Bad night (702)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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  (416): I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn. http://tfl.nu/iixt
  Replies (13) Good night (2951) Bad night (926)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

  (940): View more from Texas

  Deal.

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  (281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y
  Replies (14) Good night (2981) Bad night (719)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.

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  (516): I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents. http://tfl.nu/ifal
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (1683)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind

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  (303): I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind http://tfl.nu/1u44
  Replies (15) Good night (3761) Bad night (621)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark

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  (780): I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark http://tfl.nu/gkqi
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (400)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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  (609): Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like http://tfl.nu/h698
  Replies (0) Good night (893) Bad night (378)
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  (310): View more from California

  At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

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  (310): At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping. http://tfl.nu/qkke
  Replies (7) Good night (823) Bad night (787)

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