Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (4472)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1204) Bad night (3984)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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  (512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml
  Replies (15) Good night (1398) Bad night (3611)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

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  (815): I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis. http://tfl.nu/m4yy
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (3050)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors

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  (810): i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors http://tfl.nu/jlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (956)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

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  (202): Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands. http://tfl.nu/c22a
  Replies (4) Good night (2680) Bad night (784)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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  (253): I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears. http://tfl.nu/f427
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (1709)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success

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  (413): This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame (774): I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success http://tfl.nu/49mo
  Replies (6) Good night (1788) Bad night (729)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.

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  (330): I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library. http://tfl.nu/xc6t
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (517)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward

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  (908): he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward http://tfl.nu/i7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1569) Bad night (746)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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  (306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy
  Replies (7) Good night (2990) Bad night (659)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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  (610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (513)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (338)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later

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  (313): some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later http://tfl.nu/zhqr
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (391)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.

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  (229): Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings. http://tfl.nu/e8bt
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (157)

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