i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?