Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
