Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?