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How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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