Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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  (508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (833)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1189) Bad night (7324)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  :)

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wipe that smile off your face.

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  (410): :) (443): Wipe that smile off your face. http://tfl.nu/iqow
  Replies (28) Good night (6337) Bad night (937)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

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  (781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
  Replies (7) Good night (4523) Bad night (837)
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  (845): View more from New York

  She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

  (1-845): View more from New York

  she is way to in-touch with her childhood

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  (845): She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside. (1-845): she is way to in-touch with her childhood http://tfl.nu/m5xk
  Replies (11) Good night (2375) Bad night (1248)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.

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  (336): Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army. http://tfl.nu/tv7a
  Replies (11) Good night (1047) Bad night (931)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.

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  (708): First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night. http://tfl.nu/xjsn
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (559)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress

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  (202): he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress http://tfl.nu/kmvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1464) Bad night (465)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (802)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!

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  (217): Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome! http://tfl.nu/ig6m
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (355)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness

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  (484): It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness http://tfl.nu/v0sg
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (324)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.

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  (630): You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional. http://tfl.nu/yewn
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (401)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices

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  (908): He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices http://tfl.nu/2pbw
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (579)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes

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  (914): You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes http://tfl.nu/luvd
  Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (136)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story

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  (416): Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story http://tfl.nu/faox
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (126)

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