i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize