What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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