Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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