if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
