Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
