May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
