it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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