Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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