AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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