But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize