super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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