By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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