Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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