ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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