Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
