Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
