Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize