Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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