Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
