i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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