i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
