Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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