is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
