So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
