Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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