cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
