youre lurking in front of me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
