Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
