Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
