so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
