I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
