I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I checked into jail on foursquare
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
