If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
