perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
