didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
