if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
