Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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