just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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