dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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