So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
