You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
