and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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